Little white lies . . .

So we drove over the Hamilton yesterday, ended up being on Friday instead of Thursday as L had to do extra organising to get the time off work, phew what a long journey for our 7 minutes appointment. And now I am living with guilt – you see I have ticked the two embryo transfer box which is a no no you are only allowed to transfer two embryos if your over 35, have had so many goes and are not publicly funded BUT I have expressed my wishes before with the Dr that this is what we want I mean come on what is the worst that can happen, the cycle works and we end up with twins; now correct me if I’m wrong but the whole point of this is to make a baby so to make two babies would surely be a double bonus???? Even if L does have slight heart palpitations each time I mention the possibility of twins on transfer of 2 embryos, he just smiles and says lets go for it! (He would/will make the bestest dad ever) Is it just me or am I missing something – why do they make it so b****y hard to transfer two errrrrrrrr. Anyway onto the guilt – the nurse was new and she questioned me about ticking the two embryo box – did I know the possible consequences of having two embryo replaced –DUUUHHHHHHHHH! So I smiled sweetly said it had been discussed with my Dr and she signed for it. BUT now I feel bad, she is new and I tricked her!!! L nearly swallowed his tongue when the lies rolled off my lips, he keeps joking with me laughing saying butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth and there I was lying like a seasoned pro to this poor new nurse who is just trying to do her job. Hey shoot me for just being assertive and trying to get what I want out of all this; A BABY!!!!! Anyway she did state it will have to be re-discussed with the Dr at transfer. Oh I will be ready, there are not many battles I set out so determined to win BUT watch this space!!! And what are the IVF instruction booklets from the clinic all about? They tell you about all of the drugs etc and then they go on to mention the side effects of the drugs, well I wont go into all of the side effects and bore you all ( that is to come when they are a reality ha ha!!) anyway one possible side effect listed is ‘pregnancy may occur’!!!!. That is actually listed as a side effect. Um hello have I been standing in the wrong queue for the past 4 year or what – is that not surely the ultimate aim and not just some irksome side effect??? So you may experience migraine headaches, menopausal symptoms oh yea and sorry to tell you this but pregnancy may occur – well thanks for sharing that with me and all this time I was just putting myself through this all just to test my resilience to emotional and physical torture – COME ON!!!!!. Every time I read it I laugh out loud because it is the dumbest thing I have ever read. L is slightly concerned thinking I am losing the plot as I giggle away to myself reading about the side effects and the administration of the injections. Mind due in reality he thinks I lost the plot years ago when we started this journey and I have become obsessed ever since. Hence why this is the end there are only so many years you can live with and love a looney tune before you become one yourself – mmmm maybe that’s what he is scared of he he!!! So Wednesday is the big day, when it all starts – I thought it was Monday so just as well I read my instruction again . . . . yes I’m still putting my ditziness down to ‘waiting to make baby brain’ even if some of you out there reading this have managed to tell me that I have always been like this and ditzy is my middle name. Hummmmph enemies aye who needs them he he!!!! Well Mr Occy is nudging me with his lead I feel he may want a walk beach here we come!!