All aboard the mother ship

So yesterday was egg transfer day! I got up early and had my pre transfer acupuncture (this was without even knowing if my embryos had made it through the night) then L and I headed over to Hamilton. On the drive over there at 9am I rung my embryologist with my heart banging so hard in my ears (um er maybe that was blood from my heart not my actual heart!!!) I had to ask her to repeat herself a couple of times because I was just sooooo nervous! Anyway the news was we had lost two out of our three embryos overnight BUT there was still one little fighter hanging around waiting for its mom and dad to come and pick it up. YES we had made it! Now the embryo was good quality, ie it had divided nicely and there were not lots of little bits everywhere but it was only a 7 cell when we would have liked to see an 8 cell by this stage. So in the grading system of five being the best embryo you can get ours was a four. Still not bad and we actually did have something to transfer, a lot of people do not have this luxury so for this I was VERY grateful, plus it’s the best embryo we have had out of all the other transfers! I arrive at the clinic with a bladder so full I actually thought I was going to wee myself (lovely put that next to the throwing up on myself a couple of days earlier and I’m sure L will soon been seen running for the hills!!) So after a difficult transfer, for some reason my cervix had grown longer from last transfer (go figure!!) my little embryo (‘em’ for short) is now floating around my uterus. After transfer we drove home and I went straight to acupuncture for a post transfer session and then back home to the couch with my little ‘em’ aboard its mother ship! The waiting game really begins now, official test date (blood test ) should be the 28th however we are away camping around the East Cape with not a laboratory in sight so we will test on the 30th. Ummmm I might do a sneaky wee test on a pee stick though beforehand (susssssshhhhh don’t tell the Dr’s they don’t like those sticks!!!) Yesterday was spent sitting on the couch not moving and today will be a day of pretty much the same. L keeps telling me to put my legs up in the air – I don’t think he understands that this is A) an old wives tale and B) woman do that to help the embryo move along the fallopian tubes into the uterus NO need to do it once it is already in its final destination!! Still anything to please him and keep him quiet, plus if I’m sitting on the couch with my legs in the air as instructed my only option is to order him around! ‘L I need a glass of water’, ‘L I need another cushion’, ‘sorry honey I can’t quite reach my book’, mmmmm I might actually begin to really enjoy this!!! Last night I slept properly for the first time in 5 nights – and I actually feel human again – well as human as someone can be who is holding constant conversations with her own belly. Occy keeps looking at me thinking I’m talking to him then walks away in disgust when he realises the words are not the two he recognises ie WALK and LEAD!!! So this it is, there is nothing else we can do now but hope and pray that little ‘em’ is starting to embed deep into my uterus. I am taking two pessaries three times a day to maintain a thick lining of the womb – I’m sure they do so much more as well but that is the main thing. They are quite weird actually because they make your boobs and tummy grow huge – I look like a little bloater, who is already approx three months pregnant, how cruel is that!! Every symptom I now get I am analysing. Is that a period pain –is the game over already? Or is that little ‘em’ digging deep and embedding itself? Oh the parts of waiting were hard before and yes I have even described as torturous, but this, this is . . . . . . is there another word that means torture, but is actually worse????????