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Okay I’m not sure if anyone is still reading this because as far as you are concerned the story has now ended – yet it has not. It’s turns out that the wee on the stick I did was wrong, yesterday the clinic call me to tell me my blood tests have arrived back and apparently I am pregnant!!! However unfortunately I had to tell them that I have been bleeding very heavily for the past 2 days – which I thought was a normal period bleed just extremely heavy. So it seems that yes I was pregnant but I am unfortunately miscarrying. This is so difficult I keep asking myself is there something I could have done to have stopped this. When I thought I was not pregnant I cried could of those tears made me miscarry, I went surfing (albeit in a gentle wave) could that be it? I had a couple of glasses of wine is that when I lost our baby? However I have been re-assured by many that these things would not have caused me to miscarry people do a lot worse and still maintain a normal pregnancy. I must not blame myself, it is natures’ way of saying things were not right. So I have to have a blood test on Monday to confirm that I have in fact miscarried – and then the story I suppose will finally have ended. It will be deemed I was 5 weeks pregnant then miscarried. In one respect I am going “yay” I was pregnant my body knew what to do – on the other hand I keep going, god life is cruel I have journeyed such a long way to get here why take this precious gift away from me? So it is 01/01/2009 and today I turn 34 – what will this year hold for me? Please let it be better than 2008!